Where to begin

It’s been a bunch of minutes since I’ve sat down to put pen to paper. I almost don’t know where to begin.

I’ve been bent all kinds of ways but not broken.

I get into the ring and suddenly everything else disappears except for the reflection of me in you. It is you that will push me to face myself. Without you, there isn’t even a me. I try to flee, to fight the me I don’t want to see, but there you are making me look. The patterns become apparent- I cannot hide because you pop me back into the present…….you show me my efficacy….my lack…….you expose my inner pain and pointing out the things I take for granted- exposing what I haven’t changed since the last time we met.

I long for and equally loathe each week I have to enter the ropes. There isn’t any escape- consequences compound until I can break through the stubborn fear of failure. My desire for perfection: the need for that small fleeting feeling of power coming out of my tiny frame convolutes my vision of what is really my strength. I forget that we are competing together and in practice if I try and destroy you, I just destroy me.

When I lose focus it’s another moment of straying from all the things I wish to accomplish.

I need these ropes, I need you to become more of me.

#boxon